A case study of family andbehavioraltherapywith adolescents: 

I just don't know who he is anymore; he spends all day locked in his room and all I get are rude answers  

So, with their hearts in their throats and worn out from so many struggles, a couple of parents came into my office a few months ago. Their 15-year-old son had become extremely withdrawn, his grades were plummeting, and day-to-day life at home was a ticking time bomb. 

When I work with adolescents using behavioral therapy, I am absolutely certain that the teenager isn’t the one at fault. We’re all in this together. That’s why we combine one-on-one sessions with him (so he could have a safe space and let it all out) with family therapy sessions involving his parents. 

What did we do during the sessions? 

– We replaced yelling and punishments that didn’t work with clear rules and agreements that gave the child a say. 

– We helped parents understand what was behind that defiant behavior (which is often just fear or frustration) so they could learn to listen to their child in a different way. 

A few days ago, they came to the follow-up session, and it was great to see them. They told me, with smiles from ear to ear, that they had finally had dinner together, chatting quietly, without 

No slamming doors or sour faces. My job isn't to change your children; it's to help you understand each other so that being at home is enjoyable again.